Sunday, June 7, 2009

"You can only be strong so long before you break" -Clay Walker

Thanks Clay, teaching me some words of wisdom through your good ole' country music :)
I think God is working on breaking me right now. I can't do this on my own, I can't be strong anymore. I need the help of God to pull me through.
With five more days until the end of my quarter, I have become a stress-case! I have no idea how I am going to pass this bio class. Each chapter is so intense and in-depth that it is impossible to learn a whole quarter of this stuff in FIVE DAYS! AHHH. And on top of that, my throat is on fire. I can't get sick during finals week, NO!!! I'm relying on God for strength and health. I've learned that I cannot do this on my own and I thank the Lord so much for being my ever-present help in times of need. The thing that God is teaching me, though, is that I need to rely on Him 100% of the time, not merely when I'm in a bind or a sticky situation. He had shown me over and over again that He is always here, I just need to look in His direction.
Coming to the end of the quarter, or rather the end of the school year, is a very scary thing. I am sad to leave. I love where I am right now, love my living situation, love my roommates, and love that I can feel secure right now. Next year, and even next week, I do not know what the future holds for me. I have been so blessed to be living with my best friends and I'm scared to step into the unknown without them. Thank goodness that I have God to hold me up and keep me strong, because without Him I am the biggest coward this world has ever known!!

"For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you 'Fear not, I will help you'." -Isaiah 41: 13

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." -Psalm 46:1

God has surprised me SOOOO MUCH with my support raising for summer project. He has also changed my heart around towards it. At first I kind of had a hardened heart towards raising support. I didn't want to ask people for money - maybe that was because of my pride? I didn't think that anyone would donate money - maybe that was because of my lack of faith? I thought that I would lose more money through buying envelopes, ink, and stamps than I would gain from people in support of this missions project - maybe that was because of my lack of trust. I didn't know how to pray about this, it scared everything inside of me. I had sleepless nights over this. HOW CRAZY AM I?! I have a God that I go to and ask for help, yet I can't rely on Him to provide for me? Thank goodness I had people praying for me. "It Shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear." -Isaiah 65:24. The Lord began to work in my heart by humbling me so that I would be able to ask my friends and family for financial support. I began to see all the things in my life and how each one, even the small things, were gifts from God. Once I started to realize how much God has provided for me, I knew that He would come-through in this situation too. I began to pray more and more that God would just amaze me and let me experience his omnipotence through raising support. And He sure did!
I was expecting to get maybe $40 total. YEAH RIGHT! God is way bigger than $40!!! He created the ends of the earth, placed the stars in the sky, so of course he has reign over bringing me financial support. It was GOD himself who called me to this missions project, and it is God who will make sure I am provided for.

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" -Matthew 6:28-30

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