Somehow, between the stress of finals and moving out of the apartment and raising support for santa monica, i'm still alive! YAY!!!
It's weird, this long awaited arrival finally happened. I'm nervous. I'm afraid to be challenged in my faith. I'm afraid to open up to people. I'm afraid to let go of my securities, drop my the walls I've built, and let God take over. I'm just down-right scared. But I know that it will be worth it and I know that God will transform my heart while I'm here. I don't know why I'm so shy or why I'm worried that people won't like me here - I'm surrounded by a bunch of men and women who LOVE God and love people and don't judge by outward appearrences. Yet I'm still nervous and shy!
We have these bible study groups of 5 girls and here we refer to them as our "action groups". I can already tell that these women are amazing and I'm excited to get to know them better and see how God is working in their lives!
I'm extremely home sick, but I'm praying that God will give me strength as I'm away from my comfort zone and my beautiful family that I miss so much. It's hard going through the school year looking forward to the summer and being able to share that with my family, but then BAM not going home again. It's all in God's will and He is going to use this to make me stronger. I am so blessed to be living in community with so many college kids with hearts on fire for God. Obviously I'm nervous but I'm starting to feel God giving me a peace about it, knowing that this is His plan and that He will provide for me.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
"You can only be strong so long before you break" -Clay Walker
Thanks Clay, teaching me some words of wisdom through your good ole' country music :)
I think God is working on breaking me right now. I can't do this on my own, I can't be strong anymore. I need the help of God to pull me through.
With five more days until the end of my quarter, I have become a stress-case! I have no idea how I am going to pass this bio class. Each chapter is so intense and in-depth that it is impossible to learn a whole quarter of this stuff in FIVE DAYS! AHHH. And on top of that, my throat is on fire. I can't get sick during finals week, NO!!! I'm relying on God for strength and health. I've learned that I cannot do this on my own and I thank the Lord so much for being my ever-present help in times of need. The thing that God is teaching me, though, is that I need to rely on Him 100% of the time, not merely when I'm in a bind or a sticky situation. He had shown me over and over again that He is always here, I just need to look in His direction.
Coming to the end of the quarter, or rather the end of the school year, is a very scary thing. I am sad to leave. I love where I am right now, love my living situation, love my roommates, and love that I can feel secure right now. Next year, and even next week, I do not know what the future holds for me. I have been so blessed to be living with my best friends and I'm scared to step into the unknown without them. Thank goodness that I have God to hold me up and keep me strong, because without Him I am the biggest coward this world has ever known!!
"For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you 'Fear not, I will help you'." -Isaiah 41: 13
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." -Psalm 46:1
God has surprised me SOOOO MUCH with my support raising for summer project. He has also changed my heart around towards it. At first I kind of had a hardened heart towards raising support. I didn't want to ask people for money - maybe that was because of my pride? I didn't think that anyone would donate money - maybe that was because of my lack of faith? I thought that I would lose more money through buying envelopes, ink, and stamps than I would gain from people in support of this missions project - maybe that was because of my lack of trust. I didn't know how to pray about this, it scared everything inside of me. I had sleepless nights over this. HOW CRAZY AM I?! I have a God that I go to and ask for help, yet I can't rely on Him to provide for me? Thank goodness I had people praying for me. "It Shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear." -Isaiah 65:24. The Lord began to work in my heart by humbling me so that I would be able to ask my friends and family for financial support. I began to see all the things in my life and how each one, even the small things, were gifts from God. Once I started to realize how much God has provided for me, I knew that He would come-through in this situation too. I began to pray more and more that God would just amaze me and let me experience his omnipotence through raising support. And He sure did!
I was expecting to get maybe $40 total. YEAH RIGHT! God is way bigger than $40!!! He created the ends of the earth, placed the stars in the sky, so of course he has reign over bringing me financial support. It was GOD himself who called me to this missions project, and it is God who will make sure I am provided for.
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" -Matthew 6:28-30
I think God is working on breaking me right now. I can't do this on my own, I can't be strong anymore. I need the help of God to pull me through.
With five more days until the end of my quarter, I have become a stress-case! I have no idea how I am going to pass this bio class. Each chapter is so intense and in-depth that it is impossible to learn a whole quarter of this stuff in FIVE DAYS! AHHH. And on top of that, my throat is on fire. I can't get sick during finals week, NO!!! I'm relying on God for strength and health. I've learned that I cannot do this on my own and I thank the Lord so much for being my ever-present help in times of need. The thing that God is teaching me, though, is that I need to rely on Him 100% of the time, not merely when I'm in a bind or a sticky situation. He had shown me over and over again that He is always here, I just need to look in His direction.
Coming to the end of the quarter, or rather the end of the school year, is a very scary thing. I am sad to leave. I love where I am right now, love my living situation, love my roommates, and love that I can feel secure right now. Next year, and even next week, I do not know what the future holds for me. I have been so blessed to be living with my best friends and I'm scared to step into the unknown without them. Thank goodness that I have God to hold me up and keep me strong, because without Him I am the biggest coward this world has ever known!!
"For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you 'Fear not, I will help you'." -Isaiah 41: 13
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." -Psalm 46:1
God has surprised me SOOOO MUCH with my support raising for summer project. He has also changed my heart around towards it. At first I kind of had a hardened heart towards raising support. I didn't want to ask people for money - maybe that was because of my pride? I didn't think that anyone would donate money - maybe that was because of my lack of faith? I thought that I would lose more money through buying envelopes, ink, and stamps than I would gain from people in support of this missions project - maybe that was because of my lack of trust. I didn't know how to pray about this, it scared everything inside of me. I had sleepless nights over this. HOW CRAZY AM I?! I have a God that I go to and ask for help, yet I can't rely on Him to provide for me? Thank goodness I had people praying for me. "It Shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear." -Isaiah 65:24. The Lord began to work in my heart by humbling me so that I would be able to ask my friends and family for financial support. I began to see all the things in my life and how each one, even the small things, were gifts from God. Once I started to realize how much God has provided for me, I knew that He would come-through in this situation too. I began to pray more and more that God would just amaze me and let me experience his omnipotence through raising support. And He sure did!
I was expecting to get maybe $40 total. YEAH RIGHT! God is way bigger than $40!!! He created the ends of the earth, placed the stars in the sky, so of course he has reign over bringing me financial support. It was GOD himself who called me to this missions project, and it is God who will make sure I am provided for.
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" -Matthew 6:28-30
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
summer tease
Spending a few days in San Diego was such a tease!!! ah. I had a taste of summer and it was beautiful :) Spending time with friends and in fellowship and with family was exactly what I needed to calm me down. Only a few more weeks of school and I'm off to Santa Monica! It's insane how fast that came up. I saw Taylor Swift this weekend too, she was so good in concert. So was Kellie Pickler and the other opening act. (Kari & Erica took me for an early birthday present!)
Found out Taylor is psychotic though haha. I just love live music and I wish there were more musical events I could go to without feeling out of place haha. I don't know a lot about music but I enjoy listening to it so much. I'm actually trying to pick up the piano again!
Found out Taylor is psychotic though haha. I just love live music and I wish there were more musical events I could go to without feeling out of place haha. I don't know a lot about music but I enjoy listening to it so much. I'm actually trying to pick up the piano again! Once again, God surprised me. Out of allllllll the seats in the sports arena, we ended up sitting directly in front of Sam, Morgan, Jordan, and Danny. Some people were telling me this was a coincidence. How does that happen coincidentally?! I really believe that it was the work of God. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend :)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I long to live my life for Christ alone
. I'm silly for thinking that I would find happiness in anything else. This weekend was absolutely beautiful, spent in the presence of an amazing friend, we experienced the breath-taking nature that God has created for us on this earth!
My support raising is going better than I thought! I don't know why I ever doubted that God would provide the money, but He has been proving me wrong! I don't have much, but it's a lot more than I thought I would raise. I'm excited to see where else God is going to work in my life.
I'm afraid yet so excited :)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
First post!
yay for my first blog post :)
i finally got all of my support letters out, just have to send the last few out tomorrow and hand out some more and then it's all in God's hands, nothing i can do about it after that.
wow its a good feeling to know that God is in control.
im off to enjoy this beautiful day in SLO by doing homework. haha.
<3
i finally got all of my support letters out, just have to send the last few out tomorrow and hand out some more and then it's all in God's hands, nothing i can do about it after that.
wow its a good feeling to know that God is in control.
im off to enjoy this beautiful day in SLO by doing homework. haha.
<3
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